Bobby is convinced there’s a racket no one talks about enough: baby clothes.
From the outside, tiny outfits look adorable. But in reality, Bobby argues, they’re worn for about five minutes before a baby outgrows them. Newborn clothes, specifically, make no sense to him. There’s an entire size category labeled “newborn,” which essentially translates to buy this, use it briefly, and then never touch it again. Adults buy clothes and wear them for years. Babies? A month, maybe. Sometimes less. Shoes are even worse. Bobby points out that baby shoes are so small you can pinch them between two fingers and somehow they still only fit for a blink of time.
In Bobby’s mind, that’s proof the whole system is rigged. And the buying never stops. As soon as one size fits, it doesn’t. More clothes. Bigger clothes. Repeat. Bobby admits that while they won’t be holding onto the outgrown items long-term, they’ve learned the hard way that saving them just leads to trash bags piling up. Now, they plan to give everything away quickly, because why keep clothes that were barely worn to begin with? This is also where gift-giving gets tricky. Bobby acknowledges that baby clothes are exactly what people want to buy for new parents. But he’s clear: they don’t want or need anything. No registry. No expectations. Even at Caitlin’s baby shower, the focus isn’t on gifts. The idea of gathering still matters, people want to show up and celebrate, but the traditional checklist of baby items isn’t part of the plan.
Shoes, however, remain a sticking point. Bobby loves shoes in general, but baby shoes? They don’t even walk. Why are shoes involved at all? Two months later, they’re useless. Crib shoes exist, apparently, which only deepens the confusion. Amid all of this, Bobby shifts into preparation mode. The stroller is finally assembled correctly, after a second attempt. The first build left him uneasy. Parts didn’t line up, things weren’t even, and with a baby involved, “this is probably fine” wasn’t an acceptable conclusion. After rebuilding it properly, confidence was restored. The bassinet is secure.
There are still practical steps ahead: hospital tours, figuring out where to park when labor starts, rehearsing logistics so nothing becomes a last-minute scramble. One thing they’re fully set on? Car seats. Those came assembled straight out of the box, which felt like a small miracle. Then the conversation takes a turn, straight into modern parenting territory. Bobby mentions recording in the delivery room, quickly acknowledging that hospital rules vary widely. Some allow it. Some absolutely do not. A listener jokingly suggests using Meta glasses to discreetly record, which Bobby immediately shuts down. Between the visible recording lights and hospital staff, there’s no chance that would end well.
Plus, there’s the unsettling realization that recording that way could mean a tech company accidentally has access to the birth of your child. That alone feels like a step too far. Bobby imagines the inevitable outcome: getting caught in the delivery room, staff spotting the glasses instantly, and the device being confiscated, smashed, and stomped on without hesitation.